Lauren "LoJo" Johnson
⚠️ Warning! Terrible dancer
Hometown: Orono, MN
Major: Chemistry and Chinese
Years played: 2
Reason for trying out: I didn't want to play sports in college because I thought it would be too much of a time commitment. I then let Anni P bring me to tryouts freshman year because it was only three times a week. I stayed because I loved it.
Favorite kitchen appliance: Coffee maker
Pairs of shoes owned: 10<x<30
Most embarrassing moment: standing at the front of the caf trying to find where everyone is sitting but I can't bc I'm blind
Favorite memory from a tournament: ummm winning natties freshman year!!!
Best pickup line: Well here I am, what were your other two wishes?
Favorite game: Mafia and (ping) pong
Biggest pet peeve: Slow walkers and people who stand in a circle cutting you out
Celebrity look alike: The Olson twins lmao
Signature dance move: Soulja boi
Theme song: “对不起我的中文不好”--a classic
Favorite pump-up song: Hard tie between Soulja boi and Baby Shark
How much would someone have to pay you to eat a live spider? a mil at least
What's the craziest thing you've ever done? I walked up Thorson hill in 4 feet of snow
If you could be any animal, what would it be and why?
Well I'm already a snake so probably that
What's one thing you recommend everybody does at least once? Have a good conversation with Dezra Young, the coolest person I know
What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but haven't yet?
Write a book
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Being able to learn any language instantly
On a scale of 1 to 10, how funny are you? I'm not funny I just do dumb things that other people find funny
Dogs or cats? Dogs wtf
How do you like your eggs, fried or fertilized? Vegan
Fun fact: My dad delivered me because the doctor wasn't there
Funner Fact: I'm a fake blonde
What are you most excited for this year on Vortex? 6:30 am practice
"They should make cheerios in the shape of mustaches and call them mustachios."